Author: Suzanne Candela

Every year around the holidays, stores and malls across America are transformed into winter wonderlands, complete with elves, ornaments, artificial snow, and larger-than-life decorations. 

Many children stare in wide-eyed wonder as they wait to sit on Santa’s lap and answer a singularly important question: What do you want for Christmas this year?

While some children are prepared to share their most heartfelt wishes, others may need a little prompting. Santa may start with gentler questions to build rapport and earn their trust: How old are you? Have you been good this year? Do you have brothers or sisters?

As adults, we might find the mall Santa a bit campy, but there is a lesson to be learned from him about communication: relaxed, friendly small talk and the right questions can open the door to deeper conversations about family, goals, and values. 

For your next holiday get-together, here are a few festive facts and conversation starters to help you reflect on your own estate plan and hopefully also inspire a meaningful discussion at our next meeting.

Season of Giving

Holiday Fact: On average, each American plans to spend $890.49 on holiday gifts, food, decorations, and other holiday items this year. ¹

Estate Planning Fact: Approximately 68 percent of Americans do not have a will, yet everyone has a legacy to pass on, regardless of their wealth.

Thought to Unwrap: If you could leave one meaningful gift to your loved ones, what would it be?

Treasures of Time

Holiday Fact: More than 97 percent of Americans decorate the inside of their home for the holidays. ²

Estate Planning Fact: Wills can include family heirlooms such as holiday china, vintage ornaments, menorahs, or kinara.

Thought to Unwrap: Do you have family traditions or heirlooms you would like to pass on to a loved one?

Peace on Earth

Holiday Fact: Nearly 40 percent of families say they have disagreements during holiday gatherings. About one-third of those arguments turn into lasting family problems, and almost 20 percent of people say the fights even caused someone to change their will or estate plan.³

Estate Planning Fact: An estate plan can help avoid family conflict by providing loved ones with clear instructions and eliminating guesswork during emotionally challenging times.

Thought to Unwrap: Has your family faced past disagreements that might shape how you plan for the future?

Shorter Days

Holiday Fact: The winter solstice (December 21, 2025) marks the shortest day of the year but not the earliest sunset, which occurs about two weeks earlier.⁴ 

Estate Planning Fact: A trust can help shorten or avoid the lengthy probate process when time is of the essence.

Thought to Unwrap: What matters most to you—time saved, privacy, or control—when it comes to settling your affairs?

Fur-ever Gifts

Holiday Fact: A 2024 survey found that 6 percent of Americans planned to spend over $1,000 on holiday gifts for their pets, with the largest segment of pet owners (15 percent) planning to spend between $51 and $75. ⁵

Estate Planning Fact: Estate plans can include provisions for pets; celebrity designer Karl Lagerfeld famously left millions to his cat.

Thought to Unwrap: If something unexpected happened, who would step in to look after your pets, and how would you want them cared for?

Will Power Season

Holiday Fact: Unlike UPS and FedEx—private businesses that can set their own policies—the United States Postal Service is a government agency regulated by Congress. It cannot set its own policies and is required by law to deliver to every US address, even the most remote ones.⁶

Estate Planning Fact: If you do not have a will, default state laws could determine who inherits from you and how much they get. 

Thought to Unwrap: How comfortable are you with letting state law decide who inherits from you?

Little Lights, Bright Futures

Holiday Fact: Parents spend an average of around $173 per child on holiday gifts.⁷ 

Estate Planning Fact: Most parents with minor children do not have a will.⁸ 

Thought to Unwrap: Whom would you trust to care for your children if you cannot, and what qualities matter most in that role?

Wills for All Seasons

Holiday Fact: Millennials and Gen Z spend more on self-gifting than any other age group, redefining what “giving” means.⁹

Estate Planning Fact: Adults under 35 are now more likely to have an estate plan than those aged 35 to 54,¹⁰ reversing a long-held assumption. 

Thought to Unwrap: How do you see your stage of life shaping the kind of legacy you want to build?

Making a List

Holiday Fact: A Gallup poll from 2023 found that nearly half of shoppers (49 percent) planned to do most of their holiday shopping in December, while 16 percent planned to do all their holiday shopping in December. ¹¹

Estate Planning Fact: Forty-three percent of Americans without a will cite procrastination as the main reason.¹²

Thought to Unwrap: What is one estate planning task you have been meaning to check off your list?

Tidings of Charity

Holiday Fact: About 30 percent of annual charitable donations occur in December.¹³

Estate Planning Fact: You can set aside funds in your estate plan to give to a charitable cause in a family’s name.

Thought to Unwrap: Are there causes or organizations that have made a lasting impact on your life?

Wishing You Good Tidings (and Even Better Planning)

While we are not asking about the gifts you hope to receive this year, we encourage you to have an honest and heartfelt conversation with us and your loved ones about your hopes for the future. 

A single, meaningful conversation with us can set the stage for lasting peace of mind that extends long after the holidays. If you would like to create or update your existing estate plan to align with your future goals, please call us.

1. Consumers to Spend Second-Highest Amount on Record, According to NRF Holiday Survey, Nat’l Retail Found. (Oct. 16, 2025), https://nrf.com/media-center/press-releases/consumers-to-spend-second-highest-amount-on-record-according-to-nrf-holiday-survey. ↩︎
2. Julia Pelly, Christmas Decor Trends 2025: What Are the Most Popular Decorations in America?, Angi (Oct. 9, 2025), https://www.angi.com/articles/christmas-decor-trends.htm. ↩︎
3. Family Arguments During the Holidays Can Have Profound Consequences, According to New Survey from Trust & Will, PR Newswire (Nov. 19, 2024), https://www.prnewswire.com/news-releases/family-arguments-during-the-holidays-can-have-profound-consequences-according-to-new-survey-from-trust–will-302309908.html. ↩︎
4. Jane Rose & Karin Crompton, 25 Facts About the Winter Solstice, the Shortest Day of the Year, Mental Floss (Dec. 18, 2023), https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/72659/10-things-you-probably-didnt-know-about-winter-solstice. ↩︎
5. Betty Lin-Fisher, Pet ownership is up. So is consumer spending on dogs, cats for the holidays, USA Today (Dec. 21, 2024), https://www.usatoday.com/story/money/2024/12/21/pet-spending-holiday-statistics/76947872007. ↩︎
6. Tyler Powell and David Wessel, How is the U.S. Postal Service governed and funded?, Brookings (Aug. 26, 2020), https://www.brookings.edu/articles/how-is-the-u-s-postal-service-governed-and-funded. ↩︎
7. Stephanie Weaver, Here’s how much parents spend on holiday gifts for each child, Live Now Fox (Nov. 21, 2024), https://www.livenowfox.com/news/how-much-parents-spend-holiday-gifts-each-child. ↩︎
8. Victoria Lurie, 2025 Wills and Estate Planning Study, Caring (Sept. 17, 2025), https://www.caring.com/resources/wills-survey. ↩︎
9. Jing Feng, Young adults are keeping themselves on their holiday gift lists, NBC News (Dec. 22, 2024), https://www.nbcnews.com/business/consumer/young-adults-are-keeping-holiday-gift-lists-rcna184447. ↩︎
10. Victoria Lurie, 2025 Wills and Estate Planning Study, Caring (Sept. 17, 2025), https://www.caring.com/resources/wills-survey. ↩︎
11. Jeffrey M. Jones, December Holiday Rush for Half of U.S. Shoppers, Gallup (Dec. 7, 2023), https://news.gallup.com/poll/545537/december-holiday-rush-half-shoppers.aspx. ↩︎
12. Victoria Lurie, 2025 Wills and Estate Planning Study, Caring (Sept. 17, 2025), https://www.caring.com/resources/wills-survey. ↩︎
13. Daniel Hall, Why 30% Donate in December: Year-End Giving Statistics, Harness, https://www.goharness.com/blog-posts/year-end-giving-statistics. ↩︎

During the holidays, we usually receive at least one gift that, let’s face it, falls a bit flat. 

When we were young, it might have been an itchy sweater from Grandma or a toy from Mom and Dad that we had outgrown. As adults, maybe someone got your clothing size wrong or misjudged your taste in jewelry, or you ended up with a regrettable White Elephant exchange gift.

You could be honest with the gift giver and request a return or an exchange, but you do not want to hurt their feelings. So you act happy and surprised, though you already know the gift is bound for a box in the basement or a future trip to Goodwill. Then you think of someone who would like it, and a plot is hatched: the regift.

National Regifting Day takes place on the Thursday before Christmas and celebrates giving an unwanted gift to someone else—especially at holiday office parties—as a way to promote sustainability and mindful consumption.¹ Observers of the day generally follow a few simple rules: do not regift the item to the original giver, do not regift something handmade or personalized, and always rewrap it thoughtfully.

While National Regifting Day is lighthearted, it reminds us of the value of intentional giving and the importance of considering not only what we give but how it will be received.

In estate planning, some “gifts” can be regifted, revised, or exchanged over time, while others, once given, are final. The key is knowing the difference and ensuring that you have left a kind of “receipt in the bag” in case an exchange becomes necessary and the “return window” is still open.

Regiftable Assets: What You Can Update While You Are Alive

Some parts of an estate plan are flexible while you are alive and have capacity (i.e., are of sound mind and can manage your own affairs). Think of these as the “regiftable” parts: the ones that can be exchanged or updated as life changes. With estate planning, it is not about passing along an unwanted gift, but rather thoughtfully repurposing your original intentions—redirecting how future distributions to loved ones will be shared while keeping the same spirit of generosity at the heart of it all.

• Will. You can change, add, or remove beneficiaries; update how your beneficiaries are to receive their gifts; and nominate or change guardians of minor children.
• Beneficiary designations. The beneficiaries that you designate on life insurance policies, retirement accounts, and payable-on-death accounts can be updated at any time. These designations should be made thoughtfully and coordinated with your overall estate plan; for example, naming your living trust as a beneficiary if it aligns with your overall goals.
• Revocable trusts. You can adjust the trust terms, trustees, beneficiaries, and distribution plans while you are alive and have the capacity to do so. However, keep in mind that properties in multiple states or foreign accounts, or properties that may require updates, may make the process a bit more complicated and require extra legal steps.
• Powers of attorney and healthcare directives. These documents can be changed or revoked as long as you retain the capacity to make decisions. If a progressive illness develops, updates may need to occur in stages.
• Lifetime gifts and charitable plans. You can make gifts or donations during your lifetime, but the flexibility of those gifts depends on the setup. Once you give something outright, it is usually not possible to take it back. Gifts made through a revocable trust or donor-advised fund can typically be changed while you still have the capacity to do so. Bigger or more structured gifts, such as those made through irrevocable trusts or foundations, are generally permanent once established.

Returns and Exchanges: Harder to Make Changes While You Are Alive

Other estate planning choices come with a shorter “return window.” While not completely irreversible, they are much harder to change without court or administrative involvement.

• Irrevocable trusts. These trusts are established to be irrevocable once they have been signed and generally cannot be altered. However, some states do allow limited updates under certain conditions without the necessity of going to court.
• Revocable living trusts during incapacity or after death. Once the trustmaker (also called the grantor or settlor) becomes incapacitated or dies, the living trust’s terms typically become fixed—much like an irrevocable trust. In certain situations, limited updates can still be made without court approval, depending on the state’s laws. Other ways to build in flexibility include adding spendthrift provisions or giving successor trustees certain discretionary powers, creating some wiggle room by allowing them to make decisions or adjustments as circumstances change, without needing to alter the trust itself.

No Returns Available: When Gifts Are Final

There are some parts of an estate plan that become final once they are carried out, and only in rare situations, such as cases involving fraud, coercion, or a clear mistake, can those actions be undone.

• Final distributions. After gifts and inheritances have been made from a will or trust and are in the hands of the beneficiaries, they generally cannot be changed or taken back.
• Delivered lifetime gifts and finalized deeds. After you have given a gift or finalized a deed transferring your real property during your lifetime, it is permanent. 

Leaving a Receipt in the Bag: Guidance for Beneficiaries

A comprehensive estate plan is more than just a set of documents; it is a roadmap for your loved ones. It allows you to include clear instructions, guidance, and personal touches that make it easier for them to carry out your wishes with confidence and peace of mind.

• Personal letters or notes. While letters of instruction are not usually legally binding, they can still be incredibly helpful. Use them to explain your intentions for sentimental items, coveted collections, digital accounts, and other accounts, property, or gifts that may benefit from a little extra context or explanation. 
• Trustee and executor guidance. Give explicit instructions about how your accounts and property should be managed, especially if they span multiple states or countries, have unique sentimental value, or are intended for a beneficiary with special needs. 
• Advisory roles. Appoint trusted helpers, such as trust protectors or investment advisors, to support trustees during unexpected situations. Ensure that their roles are well-defined so they do not conflict with other key decision-makers. 
• Backup plans. Name alternate beneficiaries in case the primary beneficiary is unable to accept their gift.
• Organized records. Keep accounts, passwords, and important documents organized to make things easier for your loved ones.

Know the Rules: Avoid Estate Plan Faux Pas

Even regifting has its etiquette. And so does estate planning.

You can avoid estate plan faux pas that lead to conflict or unintended outcomes—and the legal and emotional “return lines” that come from unclear, outdated, or inappropriate gifts—by following a few simple rules: 

• Choose wisely. Think carefully about who is receiving what and whether those gifts fit your beneficiaries’ needs and circumstances.
• Be discreet. When making updates or sharing instructions, keep things private and well-documented to protect everyone who might be affected.
• Avoid regifting to the original giver. Anticipate potential conflicts among loved ones or cobeneficiaries and plan contingencies accordingly.
• Celebrate the intent. Focus on the “why” behind each change or bequest. Gifting with intentionality and meaning reduces the chances that an exchange or regift will be necessary later. 
• Include a receipt. Leave behind clear letters of instruction, an organized inventory of everything you own, and detailed guidance for trustees and executors.
• Check the return date. Set up regular reviews to ensure that the “gifts” in your plan still align with current laws, relationships, and life circumstances, and that there is still time to make changes if necessary.

A Gift You Can Give Yourself and Your Loved Ones

Most of us know that regifting comes with rules, and stores have return policies for a reason. Not every gift can be freely swapped. Thoughtful gifting matters. Some things, once given, are final. 

Our favorite gift during the holidays might be the one we give ourselves: an estate plan and the gift of peace of mind that comes with having a well-planned future. However, unlike the casual rules of regifting, the rules of estate planning are written and formal. 

Schedule a time to “unwrap” your plans with us before year-end to ensure that your gifts, as well as your “regifts,” “returns,” and “receipts” reflect both your giving spirit and the law. 

1. National Re-Gifting Day, Days of the Year (Nov. 6, 2025), https://www.daysoftheyear.com/days/re-gifting-day. ↩︎

12 Estate Planning Steps to Take This Holiday Season

“On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me a partridge in a pear tree.” 

—The Twelve Days of Christmas

A partridge in a pear tree? Lords a-leaping? Many of us may know the lyrics to “The Twelve Days of Christmas,” but few likely know its origin or the meanings behind the song. And what is the story with the 12 days, anyway? Isn’t there just one?

The popular song was inspired by the 12-day liturgical season in Christianity known as Christmastide that runs for 12 nights, from December 25 to January 5.¹ It began as a Church tradition and later inspired a period of feasts in medieval and Tudor England, as well as an English folk song.² The modern version we know was not written until 1909.³

The song may be about symbolic gifts of love and melody, but in estate planning, the most valuable gifts you can give are the ones that bring clarity, protection, and peace of mind—and that last well beyond the holidays.

Keeping in the spirit of the song, consider the following 12 estate planning gifts, each one a practical step you can take to protect your loved ones and plan for your future.

1. A partridge in a pear tree. Female partridges are among a group of clever birds known to feign injury as a way to lure predators from their nest and protect their young. Think of your estate plan as the human version of that instinct—a clever way to protect and reduce risk for your own loved ones.

Estate planning step: Schedule meetings with your financial advisor and estate planning attorney to discuss your priorities, values, and needs. Laying this groundwork ensures that every step that follows serves your core objectives. Be prepared to discuss family dynamics and special circumstances; pinpoint your legal objectives (e.g., minimizing estate taxes or avoiding probate); and determine which financial and estate planning strategies best meet your needs.

2. Two turtle doves. Turtle doves often serve as a symbol of devotion. A comprehensive estate plan that includes everyone you value in your life can demonstrate your own level of commitment to those closest to you.

Estate planning step: Before meeting with your advisor and attorney, gather your personal, financial, and family information, including names, birthdates, and contact information for your children, stepchildren, spouse, siblings, and other loved ones. Consider involving your spouse or your closest family members early in the process. Including them early helps ensure that everyone understands your intentions, avoids misunderstandings, and reduces the risk of surprises or conflict later. 

3. Three French hens. In the famed Christmas carol, the three French hens are commonly associated with the virtues of faith, hope, and generosity. In seeking to safeguard your own nest egg for the next generation, consider what hopes you may have for their future as well as whom you would trust most to carry out your wishes.

Estate planning step: Take time to identify your beneficiaries and understand their individual needs—financial, emotional, or otherwise. Knowing what you want to support in each person’s life helps shape a plan that is both practical and meaningful. But do not stop there; think carefully about whom you trust to carry out your wishes, since the success of your plan depends on choosing the right people to fulfill your intentions when the time comes.

4. Four calling birds. Some historians assert that the song lyrics originally referenced “colly” birds, an archaic term for blackbirds.⁴ Highly territorial, blackbirds stand ready to defend their home under any circumstances. Once you have a clear picture of what you wish to protect, you will also be able to secure all that you hold dear.

Estate planning step: Prepare an inventory of everything you own and owe, including a complete list of your assets (e.g., accounts and property), income information, and existing insurance policies, as well as your debts. Have this information organized and ready to share at your meetings with your advisor and attorney, ensuring you can effectively defend and protect your loved ones through your estate plan.

5. Five golden rings. According to some researchers, the gold rings from the “Twelve Days of Christmas” song do not signify jewelry but the name of yet another bird, the goldfinch.⁵ A resilient and adaptable songbird species, the goldfinch reminds you to be prepared to weather any of life’s unpredictable events.

Estate planning step: Preparing for the unexpected means considering many possible scenarios. Your estate plan should be flexible enough to adapt as your life, family, and finances evolve. Before meeting with your advisor or attorney, review any recent life changes, such as births, deaths, marriages, or the acquisition of new assets, and consider how your goals may shift over time. This will enable your plan to be designed to grow and adapt with you.

6. Six geese a-laying. Some pinpoint the six geese in the song as representing creation and new life. Similarly, think of estate planning not as gloomy or morbid but as a forward-looking act of creating new opportunities and protections for those who come after you. 

Estate planning step: An estate plan encompasses more than distributing your money and property after you have passed away. Creating a thoughtful plan that passes your wisdom and values on to your beneficiaries can prove just as meaningful. Think about what family histories, stories, or personal philosophies feel crucial to share with the next generation. You may consider including these in a legacy letter that accompanies your estate plan. Taking this step not only strengthens your legacy but also provides new opportunities and perspectives for the next generation to build upon.

7. Seven swans a-swimming. The number seven is often regarded as sacred in many religions and cultures. In Catholicism, it has often been tied to completeness or perfection. While no one is perfect, you can work with advisors and estate planning professionals to ensure that your estate plan is as complete and legally solid as possible.

Estate planning step: Finalizing and signing your estate planning documents is essential to ensure that they are legally valid and enforceable. Because requirements for witnesses, notarization, and execution vary by state, working with a qualified professional helps ensure that your documents meet all legal standards and reflect best practices in your jurisdiction.

8. Eight maids a-milking. The milkmaid in the lyrics has elicited a range of interpretations throughout history, including portrayals of diligence, humility, and dignity in everyday tasks. At first glance, estate planning may seem to be of interest only to those with significant wealth, but in reality, it is a process from which everyone can benefit, regardless of the size of their estate. 

Estate planning step: Focus on your goals, not just your net worth. Like the milkmaid who found meaning in her everyday work, view your estate plan as a way to care for the people and values that matter most—both during your lifetime and after your death. A well-crafted plan can also guide and protect you during periods of incapacity (being unable to handle your own affairs), ensuring that your daily life and decisions continue to reflect your wishes.

9. Nine ladies dancing. Whether the nine ladies in the song symbolize angels or virtues such as love, joy, and patience remains uncertain. Either way, they serve as a reminder to take the necessary steps in the estate planning process. It may initially seem intimidating or hard to follow, but with guidance from your advisor and attorney, all components of your plan will ultimately align.

Estate planning step: Partner with a professional to master all the right estate planning moves. If you establish a trust-based estate plan, be sure to fund the trust, i.e., transfer assets into it, so it actually works as intended and avoids probate. Another smart move is to keep your beneficiary designations up-to-date, ensuring that your accounts align with the rest of your plan. 

10. Ten lords a-leaping. The leaping lords remind us to lift others up and stay connected during the holidays. Joy grows when it is shared, especially with those who may need extra support or encouragement.

Estate planning step: Taking the lead involves helping those around you. In estate planning, communicate the key elements of your plan to all key partners involved in the process, including your fiduciaries and beneficiaries. Ensure that they are aware of the location of your documents, who is responsible for what, and what you expect from them. By involving your loved ones in the conversation, you provide them with clarity about your wishes and ensure that they are supported when life feels uncertain.

11. Eleven pipers piping. Estate planning can help maintain harmony among your loved ones. You are the composer, and your financial accounts, property, and personal possessions are all instruments that play a role in your plan. A well-structured estate plan that accurately reflects your intentions can facilitate a smooth transfer of assets to your beneficiaries. 

Estate planning step: Once you have completed your carefully curated “playlist” of estate planning documents, store your plan securely (both physically and digitally), and maintain a summary or index that helps your loved ones quickly find what they need.

12. Twelve drummers drumming. Getting into a consistent rhythm as the seasons of your life shift means less stress and more time for celebration and enjoyment.

Estate planning step: Set a regular review schedule—annually or after major life events such as marriage, birth, or a move—to keep your plan current with your life and the law.

The Greatest Gift You Can Give

Knowing where something came from, whether a song, a family tradition, or a personal value, deepens its meaning. The same principle applies to your estate plan.

To create a plan that truly reflects who you are and what you care about, your advisor and attorney need to understand your history, relationships, and goals. It may take longer than 12 days to create your plan once we have all the necessary information, but you will have a gift far more valuable and lasting than anything found under the tree. 

This holiday season, as you reflect on the year and spend time with loved ones, you can take real steps toward securing your family’s future—one meeting, one conversation, and one thoughtful gift at a time. Call us to schedule a time to create or review your existing estate plan.

1. Catherine Boeckmann, What Are the 12 Days of Christmas? And When does the 12 Days of Christmas start?, Almanac (Nov. 12, 2025), https://www.almanac.com/what-are-12-days-christmas. ↩︎
2. Id. ↩︎
3. Meghan Jones, What Are the 12 Days of Christmas, and What Do They Mean?, Reader’s Digest (Sep. 9, 2025), https://www.rd.com/article/where-do-12-days-of-christmas-come-from. ↩︎
4. Peter Armenti, Is It “Four Calling Birds” or Four Colly Birds”? A “Twelve Days of Christmas” Debate, Library of Congress Blogs (Dec. 21, 2016), https://blogs.loc.gov/catbird/2016/12/is-it-four-calling-birds-or-four-colly-birds-a-twelve-days-of-christmas-debate. ↩︎
5. Pamela Patton, Five Gold Rings, Princeton University (Dec. 20, 2021), https://ima.princeton.edu/2021/12/20/five-gold-rings. ↩︎

The holiday season is right around the corner, and you have likely been shopping for the perfect gifts for your loved ones. You may have been wandering through crowded stores, scrolling through online marketplaces, or replaying conversations you have had with your loved ones over the past few months, trying to recall subtle hints they may have given.

What if you just ask them what they want? Wouldn’t you want to know that your gift truly fits rather than guessing? Sometimes a simple question can save you from giving something they do not want or will not use.

Estate planning can be thought of as gift-giving on a bigger, more enduring scale. But unlike a holiday gift that can be returned or exchanged, the “gifts” of an estate plan carry emotional weight and often touch on sensitive family dynamics that demand more in-depth conversation.

When you assume that you know your loved ones’ preferences or avoid the hard conversation altogether, the result is not just disappointment—it is often confusion, conflict, and resentment that can outlast the possessions themselves.

Many Families Have Not Had “the Talk”

Younger generations are increasingly open about sharing what gifts they actually want. This trend can be seen in the growth of online wishlists and digital registries that can help families simplify gifting, avoid awkward situations when someone receives an unwanted gift, reduce waste and “gift anxiety,” and turn gift-giving into a transparent, more personalized experience that strengthens family bonds. 

While digital wishlists like those on Amazon, Giftster, MyRegistry, and Elfster are more popular with younger Americans, they reflect bigger cultural trends around authenticity, intentionality, and transparency. We are now encouraged to be more open and share our whole self in both our personal and professional lives to foster greater trust and connection. 

Unfortunately, however, the trend toward greater openness in gift-giving has not made its way into the estate planning world. According to a 2024 survey, only about a quarter of parents have had generational wealth discussions with their children. ¹

This lack of openness has created a growing disconnect between what younger generations expect to inherit and what their parents actually plan to leave. According to a 2025 survey by Northwestern Mutual, there is a growing mismatch between generations regarding inheritance expectations. More than half of younger adults—Gen Z and millennials—say they are relying on financial help or future inheritances from their baby boomer parents. Yet only about one in five boomers plans to leave a significant inheritance.²

Why Communication Matters

Having “the Talk” before “the Transfer” is critical to reducing conflict and uncertainty. And with people living longer, the wealth transfer talk should not be a one-time event; it should be an ongoing conversation as life inevitably evolves.

A few key findings highlight why these conversations matter:

• Nearly half of younger Americans expecting an inheritance have not discussed it with the person leaving it to them.³
• Disputes often arise from personal property such as jewelry or heirlooms. Research shows that these personal and often highly sentimental items can cause more fights than money does.⁴ After all, a retirement account can be divided, but a family heirloom cannot.

This is why it is so important for you to have these discussions with your loved ones while you can. Not only will they be better able to understand your wishes, you will also have an opportunity to learn who values certain personal property items most so you can make thoughtful, intentional choices ahead of time and prevent disputes later.

How to Take the Guesswork Out of Gifts

Open communication about your estate plan is a gift that lasts far beyond the holiday season. If you can simplify holiday shopping with a wishlist, you can simplify estate planning by making your intentions clear and easy for loved ones to follow.

Here is how to put this into action:

• Use a personal property memorandum. Most states recognize an estate planning tool known as a personal property memorandum. This standalone document lets you specify who will receive specific tangible items you own, such as jewelry, artwork, or collectibles. You can complete this document from the comfort of your home and update it anytime without revising your entire estate plan or meeting with your attorney. By clearly documenting your intentions, you help prevent confusion and conflict among your loved ones.
• Clarify the role of digital tools. Digital wishlists, shared spreadsheets, and collaborative platforms can help organize personal property preferences and spark family conversations. However, these tools are not legally binding and can even create confusion if they conflict with your signed estate planning documents. To avoid misunderstandings, ensure that any digital lists are consistent with—and ultimately reflected in—a signed and dated personal property memorandum that is incorporated into your will or trust. The value of these lists is in facilitating conversation and organization.
• Have early and ongoing conversations. Combine legal tools with open dialogue to reduce later misunderstandings and conflicts.

Giving Loved Ones What They Want (and Need)

Guesswork leads to stress, both around the holidays and in estate planning. There is no shame in asking people what they want. Silence about an estate plan can be just as damaging as having no plan. Honesty is not always comfortable, but it can avoid a more unpleasant surprise down the road. 

For guidance on how to turn assumptions into certainty, reach out to us for help.

1. The Great Wealth Transfer Starts with the Great Wealth Talk, Edward Jones Research Finds, Edward Jones (Feb. 27, 2024), https://www.edwardjones.com/us-en/why-edward-jones/news-media/press-releases/great-wealth-transfer-research. ↩︎
2. Orianna Rosa Royle, Gen Z Expects to Inherit Money and Assets—but Their Boomer Parents Aren’t Planning on Leaving Anything Behind, Yahoo!finance (Sept. 26, 2025), https://finance.yahoo.com/news/gen-z-expects-inherit-money-145827436.html. ↩︎
3. New Study Finds America’s Largest Wealth Transfer Faces Unexpected Obstacle: The Family Dinner Table, LegalShield (July 28, 2025), https://www.legalshield.com/press-releases/americas-largest-wealth-transfer-faces-unexpected-obstacle. ↩︎
4. The Allianz American Legacies Study, AgeWave, https://agewave.com/what-we-do/landmark-research-and-consulting/research-studies/the-allianz-american-legacies-study (last visited Oct. 27, 2025). ↩︎

It is a frigid November night. You put on a sweatshirt and sweatpants to warm up—to no avail—and decide to light the season’s first fire. 

You open the woodstove door to find last year’s ashes still inside, the chimney unswept. Not ideal, but manageable. You can deal with these things later, before winter really gets going. The real problem comes when you head to the woodpile on the porch. The kindling is damp, the logs in short supply. You might get a fire started, but it will take work to keep it going.

A weak fire fizzles out fast. And if you are not careful, your estate plan will too.

Relying on the wrong documents, or ones that have been left untended, can lead you—and your chosen beneficiaries—feeling cold and in the dark. 

Smoke but No Fire: An Estate Plan That Is Not Winter Ready

You cannot stop fall from turning into winter. The best you can do is ensure that you are prepared for colder weather to come.

An estate plan can be thought of in the same way. While it will not stave off what is inevitably coming and what we may prefer to avoid altogether, it can provide warmth to those who are left gathered around the hearth.

For that to happen, the ground must be prepared, the fuel gathered, and the spark ready to strike. Without the right elements chosen ahead of time and ready when needed, a plan, like a fire, can fail to ignite, burn out too quickly, or smolder, giving off smoke but no flame and offering no protection from the cold. 

Here are some practical pointers to keep your estate plan from burning out and to ensure that it is ready to work when you need it most:

• Kindling only supports the fire. Some “logs” do not truly burn on their own: Ethical wills and letters of intent can carry deep meaning and guidance, but they do not always carry legal weight. An ethical will is a personal message or legacy letter used to share values, life lessons, or hopes for future generations, while a letter of intent can provide instructions or context to help loved ones and fiduciaries understand your wishes. These documents act as the sentimental “kindling” of an estate plan: They add warmth and heart. But for a fire that burns long and bright through a winter night, an estate plan also needs a solid, legally enforceable foundation: the big “logs” like wills and trusts.
• Good wood needs proper arrangement. A good fire needs the right setup, as does a good estate plan. If signatures are missing, witnesses are improper, or a document is not notarized when it is required to be, it is like stacking wood the wrong way—the spark never catches. Your estate plan smolders instead of burning; your accounts and property may get stuck in probate, your wishes may go unenforced, and loved ones will likely be left with confusion instead of clarity.
• Tending the flame is essential. Just as you would not build a fire and then leave it, your estate plan should not be a set-it-and-forget-it task. Having an estate plan with outdated beneficiaries or decision-makers is like building a fire with wet logs. Firewood needs to be seasoned, tended, and replenished to keep a steady flame. The same is true for your estate plan; it needs regular review to ensure that it continues to burn bright, that your wishes are current, and that the right people are appointed to the right roles and receive the right inheritance.

Start a Fire—and Keep the Flame Going

When the first chill of the season arrives, we are reminded that a fire represents more than warmth; it symbolizes the enduring flame of family and legacy that your estate plan is meant to protect.

It is not enough to simply get a fire started—or to draft an estate plan once and forget it. Both require care and tending to keep burning bright. Instead of leaving your family in the cold, let’s spark up a conversation. 

Create or Protect Your Family Traditions with an Estate Plan

Thanksgiving is built on a shared story and tradition, but every family has a different way of celebrating the country’s second-favorite holiday.¹ Unlike Christmas and the gift-giving anxiety that can accompany it, Thanksgiving is more about keeping things simple. Sure, hosting has its share of stress, but that stress melts away when the table is set, everyone is seated, and the side dishes are being passed around like the good memories they inspire.

Americans today are somewhat split on what defines a traditional Thanksgiving. Most of us celebrate the holiday, but our traditions and activities vary widely. Some families go around the dinner table and share what they are grateful for. Others give thanks more subtly, with good food, good company, and maybe even a little football and some late-night bargain hunting.

As families—and times—change, so do traditions. Kids grow up, start their own families, and establish their own holiday celebrations. 

Still, as new traditions replace old ones, the core of Thanksgiving—connection, gratitude, and shared experience—remains the same. Estate plans can evolve in much the same way, reflecting new realities and a renewed spirit of giving. Estate plans are not only about passing down money and possessions. They are also a way to preserve traditions, share values, and keep families connected for generations to come.

Incorporating New Traditions into Your Estate Plan

The traditional estate plan can feel a bit like a classic Thanksgiving feast: comforting, but sometimes a bit predictable. It is the same year after year: the same turkey, the same side dishes and desserts, and the same stories told around the table.

While tradition can be comforting and grounding, there is something to be said for mixing things up, not only around the dinner table but also in an estate plan. 

You do not have to settle for leaving your loved ones a one-time, lump-sum inheritance, nor do you have to limit yourself to a standard will- or trust-based plan. Your plan can reflect more modern notions of giving, sharing, and gratitude.

Your estate plan can be shaped around your values and goals and the legacy you want to leave. It may focus on a “gifting while living” strategy,² allowing you to share experiences, generosity, and impact during your lifetime. Or it could be designed to pave the way for future family gatherings and celebrations that continue your traditions and honor your memory after your passing. Many people take a blended approach, combining lifetime gifts with future provisions that bring loved ones together and strengthen their bonds, whether those traditions are tried and true or new and novel. 

But just like serving a creative side dish at Thanksgiving, these strategies work best when they are balanced with practical considerations. Tax considerations, administrative costs, and fairness among your loved ones all need to be baked into the plan. Otherwise, what starts as a heartfelt tradition could lead to heartburn later.

Here are a few ways to build the spirit of Thanksgiving into your estate plan to carry out your legacy:

• Holiday gatherings. Set aside funds in a trust to cover food, decorations, or even rental fees for a larger space so everyone can celebrate the holidays together.
• Family reunions. Direct funds in a trust to pay for a recurring family gathering, such as an annual or biennial event, by either specifying the location and activities in advance or appointing someone you trust to make those decisions.
• Shared travel experiences. Earmark funds in a trust for airfare or gas so no one has to miss Thanksgiving because of cost.
• Keeping the family home or cottage. If your Thanksgiving memories are tied to a specific house or cottage, place the property in a trust or an LLC and set aside funds for upkeep, taxes, and maintenance so that the place that holds your family’s memories can continue to bring everyone together for years to come.
• Charitable traditions. Leave funds that allow your family to continue a tradition of giving by volunteering together or directing annual donations to nonprofits that reflect your shared values.

These strategies can be especially meaningful when thoughtfully designed. Working with an experienced estate planning attorney can help ensure that they are structured in a way that minimizes tax issues and keeps family harmony intact.

Make Time to Gather, Share, and Reflect

Things get busy this time of year. Meeting with an attorney before the holiday rush is a recommended step to review your estate planning strategies and make final adjustments before the calendar year ends.

Whatever traditions you and your loved ones have, estate planning should be part of the mix. In addition to the usual fare—reviewing wills, trusts, and beneficiary designations—consider adding one of the above ideas to the menu this year. 

Traditions and estate plans can become a bit like Thanksgiving leftovers: satisfying but sometimes stale. Trying something new, whether it is a new family tradition or a fresh approach to your estate plan, can bring renewed flavor and joy and create a legacy that reflects who you are and what matters most to you.

If you would like help getting your estate plan recipe just right, please reach out to us.

1. Oana Dumitru, Which Holidays Do Americans Enjoy Most—and Least?, YouGov (Feb. 9, 2024), https://today.yougov.com/society/articles/48626-which-holidays-do-americans-enjoy-most-and-least. ↩︎
2. Brie Williams, Giving While Living: Bridging the Gap in Modern Wealth Transfer, State St. Inv. & Mgmt. (July 9, 2025), https://www.ssga.com/us/en/intermediary/resources/practice-management/giving-while-living-bridging-the-gap-in-modern-wealth-transfer. ↩︎